Sex Addicts Objectify Others

Not only did he objectify me as his wife. He also did it to our daughter. I was furious. I had just heard my husband, the father of our daughter, tell our 16 yr old daughter that she looked sexy in a dress that was perfectly modest. It had a full skirt, covered her chest very well, it came below her knees and was sleeveless. It was a really beautiful dress and fit her well. I was so furious and I unleashed that fury on him.

No dad should think of their daughter as sexy, let alone tell her she is sexy and he wants to have sex with her.

A couple of months after he told her that she tried to run away*, thankfully, some friends caught her and prevented her from doing it. However, I was awakened at 4:30 a.m. by a police officer banging on my door, telling me to call friends. They had my daughter. 

That was the wake up call I needed. I knew things were wrong in my marriage, obviously he had trickled disclosure for years, but there was more I couldn’t put my finger on until she ran away. Once I had her home, we had a really hard conversation, where she mentioned covert incest and I did a little research to find out what that was ... I was disgusted. I started to understand what exactly was wrong with my marriage. Pieces started to fall into place in my mind, not pieces just about my marriage but also pieces about his relationships with his parents.

I was so hurt and angry, yet, it proved to be the very thing I needed to help me wake up more and understand exactly what was happening in my own home. I was so deep in survival mode that I couldn't hear her. I was so bent on saving my marriage that I said hurtful things to her. I have had to repent of a lot of things. I have had to forgive myself for a lot of things.

Sometimes it takes a HUGE jolt to wake us up to exactly what is going on in our homes. As long as we allow that jolt to not only wake us up but also to become a jumping off point towards healing ... they are often good things.

"Fathers, do not provoke your children, so they will not become disheartened. For the one who does wrong will be repaid for his wrong, and there are no exceptions." Colossians 3:21,25

*This story has a beautiful continuance, she didn’t talk to me for 2 ½ yrs. At the urging of a friend I told her that I was divorcing her father, and she started talking to me again and we have been talking weekly since. I am so blessed. I wanted share that in case any of you are in a similar situation. I was in that place just 7 years ago.