How Making Threats is Hurting You

Have you considered how making threats to divorce, separate or to do something else may be hurting you?
I hadn't considered it, until recently. Recently I was examining the early years of my marriage what I would tell him when he would confess or I would ask if he was using pornography. If it was in the heat of the moment, I would say "If you do it again, I will divorce you."

I threatened to divorce him several times over the years, if he didn’t stop using pornography.

Yet, it took me 21 yrs to finally actually do it. As I talk to other women I find most of us have this in common. We make threats hoping that it motivates them to make different choices. It hasn’t worked for any of us. If you find yourself making threats hoping for change, it is time to stop.

If he wanted to change, he would change.

If he wanted to change he would. It wouldn't take threats for him to change. He has to change his heart without being threatened. He has to want to change his heart without threats.
If you make a threat do so with the intention to follow through. Give him reason to trust your word. Give yourself reason to trust your word! Better yet, stop making threats and set boundaries instead.

Every time you make a threat don't follow through with it, it erodes his trust in you.

It erodes your trust in yourself, too.

Beyond that you are going to give an account for every word you speak when you stand before the judgement throne. (Matthew 12:36)That is sobering. I want my words to have meaning and to speak only things I truly mean.

The takeaway? Not only is it hurting you now but you will answer for it when you stand before Yahweh and Yeshua!

I talk about boundaries in my program, Betrayed but Not Broken. I would be honored to support you through Betrayed but Not Broken!

"Let your word be ‘Yes, yes’ or ‘No, no.’ More than this is from the evil one. I tell you that on the day of judgment, people will give an account for every worthless word they speak." Matthew 5:37, Matthew 12:36

What change will you make so you can trust your word?
What change will you make so he can trust your word?