Because He Acts Out there MUST be Something Wrong with Me

If he is using pornography, has had an affair or does some other form of acting out sexually it only stands to reason there is something wrong with me, right?

WRONG.

Because he used pornography, I felt as though I wasn't enough for him sexually. He also told me I wasn’t enough with actions. Being raped by him told me I wasn't good enough, otherwise he wouldn't do it, right? Others told me I wasn’t enough because he used pornography. I took on the belief that I wasn’t enough. I was shamed by him and others for his choice to use pornography. I took on the belief that I needed to fix issue HIS issue. I felt crazy at times from his gaslighting, lies and manipulation. I tried so many things to help him and fix our marriage. The problem was I was the only one doing them, he didn’t join me in trying to fix our marriage. I let go of my dreams, the dreams that I was led to believe he shared before we were married. I struggled to be the mother I wanted to be to my children. 

When we are told so often by people we trust that we are not enough, we start to believe it. Then we start think and talk negatively about and to ourselves. It is part of our current culture to talk negatively about anyone, mostly ourselves. No one stops to think about what they are really saying to themselves, about themselves and how they are harming themselves with their negative self-talk. We don't stop to think of the impact of our words on our cells, immune system, heart and brain. I tell my children "your body is listening to you, speak kindly about yourself."

Yahweh doesn't think of us as less than. He sees us as His beautiful creation. My question is: How do you dare to say or think those negative things about yourself? You are a child of God, beautiful in every way! Yahweh would NEVER speak to His children this way. That question is for me as much as it is for you!

It is time to go against the world on this one ... We are in the world but not of the world. We should not be talking, thinking or acting like them at all. We are called to love ourselves. "“Which ones?” he asked. Jesus replied, “Do not murder, do not commit adultery, do not steal, do not give false testimony, 19 honor your father and mother, and {love your neighbor as yourself.}”" Matthew 19:19
If you don't love yourself well, how will you love others? If you don't speak kindly to yourself, how will you speak kindly to others?

Being negative in anyway towards ourselves crushes our spirit. It is time to be kind to yourself. To bring healing to your body, mind and emotions with a cheerful heart.

"A cheerful heart brings good healing, but a crushed spirit dries up the bones." Proverbs 17:22