Healing from Betrayal Trauma with Self Care Part 4

Beth Brunk
Feb 22, 2023
*Controversial topics discussed in this blog post!

Therapy
This is a controversial topic in Christian circles. Some feel therapy is ok, other feel it is not. We should read the Bible and expect healing for ourselves without ever dealing with the hurt, pain and anger inside of us. I do not believe that Yahweh works that way. He told Israel to get rid of idols, slavery mentality and follow Him. To get rid of idols, not only do we have to get rid of the physical idol whatever that is, but also the idols in our hearts. Which means we have to do some self examination. Speaking of self examination, Paul talks about it in 1 Corinthians 11, it is in regard to the LORD's supper but can be applied to other areas of our lives as well. For me therapy has been self examination. Examining myself to see what I need to get out of my heart. One of the things I did was Cognitive Processing Therapy, the same therapy used with veterans of war for PTSD. I had a lot of beliefs about myself that I needed to change and change them I did with CPT and Bible verses. I always take things back to the Bible, making sure that they line up and are not contrary to the Bible.

I would caution that before you start therapy with someone you know their beliefs. Are they a believer? Will they steer you towards a Biblical world view or a secular world view?
A big one for me is further trauma inflicted by a therapist. Yes, this happens. Be wise and prayerful about who you choose to go to for therapy.

Splankna
This is a favorite modality for self care and self examination! Splankna is focused spiritual warfare, partnering with the Spirit of Yahweh through prayer. I have been doing Splankna for 4 years and am continually amazed at the agreements and strongholds, I bought into and the Spirit reveals. Splankna can be done in person or online. Again there is controversy surrounding the practice of Splankna in Christian circles, ask Father what He wants for you. I was leery when I first heard of it, but Father gave me two witnesses and further witnesses when I started doing it that it is from Him.
My own testimony about Splankna:
I have been testing Splankna for almost 4 years. I'm continually amazed at what is revealed by the Holy Spirit at my sessions. 
I was sharing Splankna with someone who is a doubter and told them, that I have no doubt this work is from Father God, because a house divided can't stand (Matt 22:25-26), and the enemy wouldn't give up the things I've worked through with Splankna. We're told to test the spirits (1 John 4:1-3), I've been testing this for almost 4 years, it passes with flying colors! 
The freedom I'm experiencing because of my work with Splankna, is AWESOME! We have authority through our faith in Jesus that we neglect to use. I say no more!
I'm walking in so much freedom because I've repented and broken agreements, I didn't even know I'd made. It's truly life changing! 
 

EMDR
I looked forward to my EMDR sessions so much when I did it several years ago. EMDR stands for Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing. EMDR mimics the REM (rapid eye movement) cycle of sleep. This cycle helps us to process our day and experiences while we sleep.
EMDR can be done in different ways. By watching lights or a practitioners arm move back and forth at a specific speed. My practitioner explained to me that it is like a train, you see things moving but not in detail. My experience was more in feelings. I didn't see the pictures. I felt things. I would laugh one second, the next be crying, the next want to curl in a ball and just be, the next throw up. I did have some things come up that I could put in words but they were good things and it was amazing.
Some people find listening to a specific kind of music that moves from ear to ear is helpful, others use their own hands or feet to bilaterally stimulate the brain. Walking, running or things like ice skating, roller blading or roller skating also may be helpful in bilaterally stimulating the brain.

Divorce Care
DivorceCare in my local community has been an amazing support. I have attended 4 times now and continually share it with others. DivorceCare is for anyone that is separated, going through divorce or divorced. I know that it takes place in different communities around the world. I will be honest, the video's are helpful BUT I have found the most support and help in the small groups that meet after watching the videos and talking about what we have watched. I think it has to do with speaking the hurt and pain to people that understand from their own divorce and separation stories. Hearing your own voice say things can be so helpful and bring so much clarity to what you are thinking. 

Create a Support System
Create your own support system around you and your family. I have a few of different support systems I have created around us. Some of them overlap, some don't. One is specifically for supporting me as I dealt with the sexual betrayal trauma. One is for supporting me as a mother as I moved through all the court stuff and hard times as single mother helping my children process their own hurt and pain. One was for my children and friendships they created, people who care and love us but have never walked the sexual betrayal road.
All are for encouragement and prayers. 

What stood out most to you in the blog post? 
What support group do you need to find or create for yourself? 
What modalities have you used to sort through the anger and deal with the pain?