Why did I call this a revolutionary indication of thriving?
When we have been sexually betrayed, whether we knew all along or it is a one time discovery, it has the potential to destroy our self confidence. The betrayal makes us question our worth. Our worth as a wife. Our worth as a human being.
The man that vowed to love me, exclusively on our wedding day, didn't see or value my worth as a woman and wife, does anyone else?
I know I am not the only one who has struggled with this. In my experience talking with women who have been sexually betrayed, the majority of us struggle with questioning our worth.
worth - the value of something measured by its qualities or by the esteem in which it is held
The esteem in which it is held. It seems like if we were held in esteem they would not have this problem, however we have to remember that they have choice in looking at pornography or having an affair and ultimately it has nothing to do with us.
I have had to fight my way back to knowing and believing my worth. Not just my worth as a human being in the eyes of other humans but also my worth as a child of Yahweh.
It has been a hard fight, often I felt like it was two steps forward and ten back. I would start to believe that I have worth, then something would happen and I would go back to questioning it.
Having friends who speak life into you, is invaluable in this fight to believe in your worth. Friends who will speak scripture over you, pray with and for you, who list out the reasons you have worth and how much you are needed in this world with your particular gifts. I am so blessed with friends who do and did these things.
A friend recently said this to me when I shared that I have struggled with my worth.
"You have value. It's not based on being a mother or someone's wife. It's that you are made in the image of our heavenly Father. That Yeshua chose to die for you. Your value comes from our Creator."
Do you have any idea how often I have said pretty much the exact same thing to others? To have someone else say it back to me, brought me to tears, even though this isn't a battle I am currently in. I am pretty settled in knowing my worth at the moment but you can believe I will be coming back to these words, if and when they are needed.
Maybe you need those words, too. Write them down, put them where you will see them daily. Take them from your head to your heart.
That was another challenge, getting them from my head to my heart. There are some several things that helped me do that. One of the things that helped me do this was the following scriptures.
Each of us were created very intentionally. See what David has to say in Psalm 139.
For the music director, a psalm of David.
1 O Lord, you examine me and know me. 2 You know when I sit down and when I get up; even from far away you understand my motives. 3 You carefully observe me when I travel or when I lie down to rest; you are aware of everything I do. 4 Certainly my tongue does not frame a word without you, O Lord, being thoroughly aware of it. 5 You squeeze me in from behind and in front; you place your hand on me. 6 Your knowledge is beyond my comprehension; it is so far beyond me, I am unable to fathom it. 7 Where can I go to escape your Spirit? Where can I flee to escape your presence? 8 If I were to ascend to heaven, you would be there. If I were to sprawl out in Sheol, there you would be. 9 If I were to fly away on the wings of the dawn and settle down on the other side of the sea, 10 even there your hand would guide me, your right hand would grab hold of me. 11 If I were to say, “Certainly the darkness will cover me, and the light will turn to night all around me,” 12 even the darkness is not too dark for you to see, and the night is as bright as day; darkness and light are the same to you. 13 Certainly you made my mind and heart; you wove me together in my mother’s womb. 14 I will give you thanks because your deeds are awesome and amazing. You knew me thoroughly; 15 my bones were not hidden from you, when I was made in secret and sewed together in the depths of the earth. 16 Your eyes saw me when I was inside the womb. All the days ordained for me were recorded in your scroll before one of them came into existence. 17 How difficult it is for me to fathom your thoughts about me, O God! How vast is their sum total. 18 If I tried to count them, they would outnumber the grains of sand. Even if I finished counting them, I would still have to contend with you. 19 If only you would kill the wicked, O God! Get away from me, you violent men! 20 They rebel against you and act deceitfully; your enemies lie. 21 O Lord, do I not hate those who hate you and despise those who oppose you? 22 I absolutely hate them; they have become my enemies. 23 Examine me, O God, and probe my thoughts. Test me, and know my concerns. 24 See if there is any idolatrous way in me, and lead me in the everlasting way.
See the intentionality there? You have worth. You are valuable. Still struggle to see it?
Read what Yeshua says in Matthew 6:25-34. Go read it, highlight it, put it deep within your heart, down in your bones. You are valuable. You are worthy. Simply because Yeshua said so.
Once you get this truth into your being, it revolutionizes the way you see yourself, the way you carry yourself and how you speak to and about yourself. Your life changes.
What other scriptures tell you how valuable and worthy you are?
How will you continue to get it into your being?